befuddled!!!! when??? how???

Not that i am confused about what choice to make because the choice is made already but i feel soooo....i don't know the word. i could just say i can hear my heart screaming because of pain. Pain that i shouldnt feel but i do because its someone else's. Not just anybody's tho...his....his pain. and i don't mean "his" in THAT sense but kinda though...not really explainable. that's so hard seeing as i have to get my report ready for the defence on thursday(and it isnt even almost ready), get my project topics ready by tomorrow (oops! its 4:11AM, so that makes it today), and have my topics ready for submission by Friday. but he is in pain. how do i forget that especially when i know that it is on my account and i am kinda in forbidden pain too. this is one of those times when i feel like i should just have a format and forget(for where??...i resemble windows?)

WHEN DID LIFE GET SO COMPLICATED??? well, you could say we make it so but i do not totally agree. i just want the days of innocence, "carefreeness", free-spiritedness. i have always had one adventure or situation or the other, BUT THISSSS, it's just a lot because it got way too deep. it's like grey's anatomy with Yang and Burke or no, maybe Grey and Shepard or....i don't freaking care who!!! i just want a rewind and re-do. i need to forget but that's not what's so important... I NEED HIM TO FORGET but he just cant seem to and that crushes my heart to hear his tears-laden voice or actually see the tears in his eyes. i believe in love. i also believe in pain. and recently, i second Jarule, (Pain is Love) just in this case, Love is Pain or can you explan how you can fall in love with the wrong person or have the wrong person fall in love with you.

I thank God for His steady. He's the calm in every storm and the beauty of His love is He fights the battle AND gives YOU the victory...that's my Father and i trust Him all the way even in this...He steadies me and helps me get through situations like this and that's just why

I LOVE HIM!!!