boldness na loooooong thing!!!

03rd Nov, Tuesday

Mehnnnn!!! if cringe were to be human, it woulda been me on monday, i woulda been Mineeki Cringe...or CringeBaby Shame

i blogged about my "yellow panther" experience on thursday. i ended on a note of boldness saying "shit happens" but on the monday after, it was a different matter. i almost disappeared for shame, as in, i just felt like every guy laughing in class was laughing at me and that almost killed me (who now said they weren't, i still feel like they were).

You see ehn, as i just sat down, i refused to get up from that seat and classes started from 8 and ended at 2 - i sat for 6 hrs straight!

i learnt something that i now think holds true "just when it seems like nothing can go wrong, something will"

cos just when i thought things couldn't get any worse, i mistakenly deleted my entire doocuments folder containing over 100 documents including ALL the materials for my final year project (did i mention that am a proud 500l Engineering student) and a term paper. i was to submit the proposal and term paper THAT DAY latest being the group leader of the project!!!

Geez...at this point i decided i couldnt take it, i just fell into a psychologically induced silence...i came back to my room at about 3:30 not speaking a word with a pack of food that ended up in the bin cos i lost my appetite to depression...my project group members were actually still waiting for me in the lecture area (at this point, being a bad PM was the last thing on my mind) while i was sleeping a sleep of depression...i slept till 11 o'clock (from 3:30pm). when i woke up i had to choose to die another day...like some 100 years from now!!!

rite now, am sitting on my window sill, trying to catch what little internet signals i can to get materials to build the proposal and have it ready first thing tomorrow morning as the defense starts tomorrow!!!

thanks for wishing me luck...love you too!